Chuck Wendig Flash Fiction Challenge

This flash fiction challenge uses a first sentence posted by another writer on the terribleminds blog by Chuck Wendig. His writing books are funny, irreverant, ballsy and full of great info. Not for the easily offended but for those of you with strong constitutions – take a peak.


I stole the first sentence from Phil Norris. I hope I did it justice.


“Lucifer was right, you are a monumental douche.”  Jen closed the door quickly but not fast enough to deter the gold tipped walking stick from blocking the door.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Oh hell. Did she actually say that out loud?  Obviously, and now she would pay for it. She didn’t think her visitor had a sense of humor.

The door swung open out of her hands. She had not been expecting a visitor;  particularly not her father-in-law. She especially didn’t expect anyone to visit while Luc and Gabe were at the club they owned. They were supposed to be home early so they could put the babies to bed and enjoy time together. She wasn’t sure what to do and her eyes moved down the hall towards her sleeping babies. Luc and Gabe never spoke well of their father but she wasn’t sure if she should just grab them and run or attempt to be civil.

Jen backed up. “You heard me the first time. You may as well come in because I doubt you would listen to me if I refused.” The man was distinguished, dressed in a suit that cost several months of her salary. She may not have the money to buy hand made clothes but she did know quality when she saw it. His whole demeanor spoke of wealth and privilege. For the first time since she met Luc and Gabe, she began to second guess their relationship. She was so out of their league if this was their father.

Her hand swept a chair of Luc’s toy trains and little Gabe’s lunch. She wasn’t sure who made the bigger mess in the house, the big guys or the little ones. She listened was glad they both napped. She had a feeling this wouldn’t go well. Where were her guys when she needed a hero or two?

“So how did you meet my sons? They are obviously trying to make a point slumming in this area.” He sniffed and looked around. “ They are playing with this club and it’s time for them to come home and take their places in the family business. They have embarrassed me enough with their behavior.” He perched on the edge of the chair as if he would catch something, his lip curled up in disgust as he glanced around the room.

Jen’s mouth dropped open. “How dare you speak like that about your sons. They are hard workers and help anyone who asks. They are always hiring a new dishwasher or cleaner to protect the pride of someone who would come to the door for a handout. Yes, we met at their club. I was left by my date and ended up in the middle of a scuffle in the parking lot. They made sure I was safe and took me home. They couldn’t be better men.” The red in her face rose as she paced the living room.

“Really my dear. You must be referring to someone else’s children. Lucifer and Gabriel were no good, irresponsible hoodlums before I kicked them out.” He looked directly in her eyes, almost daring her to contradict him.

Jen turned swiftly at a noise in the hall. Luc Jr and little Gabe stared wide eyed at their guest. They did everything together, including playing Houdini escaping from wherever they were placed. She suspected little Gabe was the ringleader. He let Luc Jr charm them out of any punishment with those white gold ringlets and rose bud lips. Little Gabe was the opposite, although none the less charming. He grinned, staring past midnight black hair and the same rose bud lips and knew he was home free. Right now they were mesmerized by their guest, although from the looks between them she knew they were plotting something. They had an uncanny knack at communicating as most twins do.

“I suppose these are my grandchildren, little urchins that they are” he sniffed. He made no move to get up as the boys ran to him, climbing into his lap and treating him to baby babble. He looked into their eyes and she thought she saw his face soften.

The door banged open and Luc and Gabe strolled in carrying a pack of diapers. They stopped dead. Luc moved to Jen while picking up both children toddling toward him. He handed one off to Gabe as both blocked Jen from seeing into the room. She jumped and weaved but still couldn’t see around their shoulders. She didn’t realize they were so tall. They needed to clean above the refrigerator more often she thought. She knew they were safe right where they were.

“Father, what are you doing here? You certainly weren’t invited after you sent us away.” Gabe held onto Luc Jr as he faced down the man sitting in their living room.

Little Gabe whimpered as Luc turned and swung toward the door. “ My son needs his diaper changed and it’s my turn to start dinner.”

“You don’t turn your back on me before I say you can leave” his calculating gaze sizing up both Gabe and Luc.

“Sorry. Luc, I’m right behind you. They both need diapers and bottles. Come on little guy, time to make you smell better.” Gabe walked down the hall, the sounds of giggling and raspberries being blown on Luc Jr’s belly echoing throughout the room.

Jen stood watching the retreating men, unsure if she should follow. She turned when she heard a chuckle.

“I know what you want. Name your price and I’ll pay, double if you leave the kids. I must say it is a sweet deal. Oh, and one caveat, you must never try to see my sons or grandsons ever again.”

“Get out. Get out now.” Jen screamed as she ripped open the front door. “I don’t care who you are, How dare you offer that or that you think I would give up Luc and Gabe and our son’s for any amount of money. Your sons are better men and fathers than you will ever be.” She heard heavy steps as Luc and Gabe slid in front of her.

What have you done now, old man?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” He smiled and looked them all in the eye. “I thought you would be running from the responsibility of a relationship and raising a family. We had bets at home that you would run the business into the ground the first year. Now I hear you are doing well and adding philanthropy to your act. Excellent, but you did cost me a great deal.” He scratched his head. “Your aunt Bath Kol knew you would do well. But then again, she cheats. I should have known better than to bet against her. ”

Luc and Gabe smirked at each other. They loved their Aunt Bath Kol but she still wouldn’t give them the winning lottery numbers.  “You knew how we were doing. Why did you come here? We know Raphael has been making reports to you and the others. And by the way, you may want to tighten Rafe’s leash. He’s gotten to be quite the party boy.”

“We didn’t want to forget anyone at home. So we named the club Fire and Ice, father. Heaven and Hell were already taken.” Luc laughed unrepentedly as Gabe choked on a snort. The tension had eased in everyone but Jen.

She ducked from behind them, hands on her hips. “I hate to break up the reunion but he still offered me money to leave you and the kids. That is not a laughing matter. I want him out of here.” She strode down the hall, her back rigid and head held high. She trusted the guys to do what was best.

Both men looked at their father, arms crossed and stance rigid. His gaze dropped to the ground under their stare, a smile playing on his lips. “In my defense, I was almost sure she wouldn’t take it.” He looked up at them, pride in his eyes. “She’s a good woman. You chose well. Did you boys ever wonder about the change in your life? Why, after so many years, and not to mention a great deal of opportunity, you had kids now?”

Luc and Gabe looked stunned. They stared open mouthed at their father. Could he have been watching out for them all these years?

“Having you two around were some of the best years of my life.” He stared wistfully out the window. “You’ve done so much and grown up that I thought now was a good time to allow you to experience real joy. That includes life with Jen, Luc Jr and little Gabe.” His mouth turned up in a wry smile. “Could you not have chosen more original names?”

Jen poked her head around the corner, her munchkins at her feet. “ I picked their names. I thought about Heracles and Iphicles but settled for Luc and Gabe. So is anyone going to tell me what is going on?”

Lucifer and Gabriel drew Jen and kids onto their laps. They proceeded to tell the story of their lives  (leaving out the beginning of time – they didn’t think she would handle that very well.)  When they explained why their father offered the money as a test of her love she broke down laughing.

“Lucifer was right, you are a monumental douche.”


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